My first post...

I never thought I would become a blogger. I actually still don't know why people would have any interest in what I have to say. But, in light of some new events taking place in our life, I thought that it might be a good idea to keep people up to date on what is going on as we enter the next stage of our life.

As many of you already know, we have been desperately trying to start a family over the last two-ish years. The last 15 months have been filled with endless appointments, procedures, pills, needles, medications, mood swings (Just ask Brian), and disappointments. If you have never struggled with infertility, it can be a hard thing for anyone to understand or even know what to say to someone going through something so foreign. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband that has been there for me every step of the way. We also have a large network of friends and family that have been a huge support system for us. After struggling for some time, we came to a conclusion about a month ago that December would be our last cycle of fertility treatments. We are by no means abandoning the idea of having biological children one day. We just realized that we don't have to have a biological child to make our dreams of starting our family and becoming parents come true.

The relief that comes with this kind of decision is indescribable. A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again. The entire process of TTC was slowly draining me of any hope that I once had at becoming a mother. And now, even though we have a long road ahead of us, I know that it will end in the two of us holding our precious child in our arms. The idea of it literally brings tears to my eyes.

I started off by buy a book, "Idiots guide to Adoption". No joke, it was and still is a TON of help for me. I had always wanted to adopt someday, but hadn't the slightest idea where to even start. Since then, we have made several decisions. We are going to pursue a domestic infant open adoption. We have narrowed our agency search down to two or three that we will be meeting with in the next couple of weeks. My goal is that by the end of the month we will have finally settled on an agency and will have submitted our application.

What I have learned about adoption is that nothing about this process is going to be easy. It costs a LOT of money, the applications are long, we will need several references from people stating that we would be good parents, someone will be coming to inspect our home, and in the end we have to put our faith in God that a birth mother will eventually pick us for their child. It's going to be a long road. We know that in the coming months and possibly years while we are going through this process we are going to need people surrounding us that support our decision and want to help make our dreams come true.

I guess that's it for now, I'm sure there will be plenty more to come. Thanks for reading!